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culture, facebook, humor, technology

Mark Zuckerburg, I’m warning you: Leave my facebook alone.

Mark, this is what I think about your stupid changes.

 

According to various news outlets, blogs and a smattering of newsfeed posts, Mark Zuckerburg is about to change social networking yet again. Only, by “change social networking,” they mean “pry the lid of your carefully curated and closely guarded Facebook profile and generally piss everyone off.” I’d been hearing whispers of this Timeline phenomenon for a week or so, but it wasn’t until I read this article in Time magazine that I finally realized what it actually means. Let me break it down for you:

• Your profile page is going to be replaced by Timeline. This means several things. First, apparently Timeline is “a lot prettier” than the current profile page. (Cool?) Second, you’ll be able to add a an oversized “cover” photo in addition to your profile picture of choice. Third- now pay attention here- people will be able to backtrack through your entire Facebook history.

Remember that naughty pirate costume you wore to a date party your sophomore year of college? Yeah, so will everyone else.

Do you really think she wants to re-live this? (I bet not).

As an added bonus, you'll also get to explain to your current boyfriend who Fernando is and why you never mentioned him before.

• Zuckerburg also announced the upcoming implementation of Open Graph, a device (program? app? whatever) that will allow 3rd-party companies connect their apps with Facebook users more “seamlessly” (read: stealthily and likely more privacy-infringing). Huh. Well what does that mean, exactly? I’ll tell you!! It means that if you check “yes” to the one-time, all-encompassing blanket permissions request, any apps you have/use (Spotify etc) on Facebook will automatically share details about everything you do when you’re using that app….right down to which chicken you sold on Farmville and when.

Whereas prior to this Wonder-App, you had to physically click “like” for individual songs on Spotify before it showed up on your Facebook profile, now it will happen automatically…Regardless of how you feel about the world knowing about your closet love for Destiny’s Child and Justin Bieber.

 
 

Care to explain this to 500 of your nearest and dearest?

 

There’s always backlash whenever Facebook changes anything, but this time it’s different. For example, when I joined Facebook I was a senior in high school. For those of you who are bad at math, that means I was 18 years old. I am now 25 and would prefer to forget several ill-advised hair cuts, boyfriends and costume parties that Facebook Timeline will undoubtedly resurrect from their internet graves. I suspect there are a good many people out there with equally incriminating photographs who would also rather leave them in college (or stashed in a drawer) than have them plastered all over their Facebook wall for a second time. 

So it would seem that our options are A) discontinue Facebook, or B) ride it out and see how awkward things get. And I’m betting they get really awkward. But what can we really expect from the King of Awkwardness and Bad Customer Service.  

What are you smiling at?

So…..how do you feel about all this?

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About Rachel

www.aspenandella.wordpress.com

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Mark Zuckerburg, I’m warning you: Leave my facebook alone.

  1. I think the way forward is to do a little ‘housekeeping’ every once in a while 😉

    Posted by cuddles1108 | October 16, 2011, 7:21 pm
  2. We’ll just have to see how it goes. Change is always a hard thing to deal with and until we deal with the exact changes it’s pointless to over-speculate about the worst that will happen. I’ve had to relearn how to use FB but with progress it all happens. With all I’ve read about Timeline it feels to me more like an upgrade to a mini-blog of sorts….just like we’re doing here. I don’t post anything on my FB that I don’t want even one of the spectrum of “friends” I have on it to see. FB still does want I want it to do, and that’s give me a link to people I normally don’t have access to.

    Posted by ste7888 | October 13, 2011, 7:21 pm
  3. I knew about this before hand and I have also started using “Timeline” when some people, infact many have not! and I do not think there should be a problem in facing the things u did in the past? why be ashamed of the duck costume u were wearing at the birthday party at 18? Life is all about doing what u want to do and much more, Facebook made some changes they wanted to make, I am okay with it! and I don’t think it should be a problem too.
    but I liked how u criticized them =P totally kick ass 😉

    Posted by Sharvil | October 13, 2011, 2:22 pm
    • haha you’re right, of course, about owning the crazy things you did when you were younger….it’s just that when i started using facebook, it was sooo much smaller and companies hadn’t really started using it as a tool to screen employees, parent’s weren’t secretly watching their kids movements online and there were just a lot less privacy concerns in general. I’m all for sharing photos and wishing happy birthday (I wouldn’t remember half my friends birthdays without FB!), but it’s just getting a little Big Brother-ish for my taste.. Thanks for stopping by!

      Posted by Rachel | October 13, 2011, 2:30 pm
      • Ahhh yes you are so right, its not so private now! and in fact its too annoying because all you do is socialize and talk and omg its so annoying when your parents are on facebook trust me -__- but its okay i guess they think its cool and stuff, good for them, i might de-activate my facebook soon if they keep changing like this. I’ll just write a blog and won’t care about the unlimited acquaintances on my facebook! just keep in touch with my real life friends in real life! you should do that too if you are annoyed with facebook!

        btw the birthday thing happens with me too!! 😛

        Posted by Sharvil | October 13, 2011, 11:58 pm
  4. Thanks for the information! I’ve read this same interpretation on other blogs, and it helps in my decision to drop out of FB.

    Posted by JSD | October 13, 2011, 5:29 am
  5. I think our best option is A = discontinue FB. I ‘deleted’ (i.e. stopped using and became unavailable on FB…although from what you’re saying all my info is still somewhere in the invisible world of the internet) my profile a year ago and my life has improved without all this social networking nonsense.
    If FB really does start infringing so much on our privacy, do we really need it?
    Photos can be sent by e-mail, in a zip file 🙂

    Posted by l0ve0utl0ud | October 12, 2011, 7:57 pm
  6. It seems FB has changed from “social networking” to “social worrying.” FB has undergone so many changes that it just confuses me. And this line: “3rd-party companies connect their apps with Facebook users more “seamlessly” is just scary. I don’t want anything 3rd-party seamlessly connecting with me. Thanks for the info.

    Posted by Lafemmeroar | October 1, 2011, 5:37 pm
  7. You just keep writing here, I will keep following you here. LOL Facebook is CRAP.

    Posted by marcianna | September 30, 2011, 3:18 pm
  8. So I’m confused. If I’m not logged into Facebook will it be publishing everything minding online to everyone? That seems like invasion of privacy to me.

    Posted by Jason | September 29, 2011, 6:56 pm
    • From what I understand, if you say “okay” to app permission requests, any apps you have on your facebook will collect and post information…For example, say you have Spotify and you’ve enabled Spotify on your facebook and you’re listening to music, then it will automatically post “Jason is listening to Foster the People” to your profile. I would assume that if you played Farmville or some other game, then whenever you did something on the game then it would automatically be posted to your wall. I’m a little fuzzy on all the explicit details, but the information regarding the changes is a little fuzzy too. Sorry for the confusion!

      Posted by Rachel | September 29, 2011, 7:47 pm

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